Thursday, January 12, 2012

Adios Facebook. Hello God!!

Last night, my women's bible study started back up after a small hiatus over the holidays. We are doing a study that centers are the story of David. Last night was WONDERFUL. The speaker on the video talked about how God doesn't care what we look like...doesn't care what baggage we have or what excuses we have made...he DESIRES to work in our hearts and through our hands. Period. End of story. Doesn't matter how many times you have slammed the door in His face; "Oh no God...I mean, I love you and all...but I can't be a Jesus girl while/at/with _________." Truth is, I am a sinner. You are a sinner. Your sweet little ol' grandma is a sinner. (Yep, I said it.) We all deserve to die. But my precious God, who I have turned my back on, bad-mouthed, disobeyed, and God who, in the face of my deepest darkest sins, wants NOTHING more than to have a loving relationship with God sent his ONLY son (parents out there, can you EVEN imagine?!!?!?!) to Earth, knowing before He even planted the seed in Mary's womb that Jesus would die on the cross, so that my sins could be forgiven. I just can't even wrap my head around His sacrifice. I pray to God every day for guidance, peace, healing, and whatever pops into my head, really. I am pretty sure people who pull up next to me when I am alone in my van think I am schizophrenic because I have full on convos with The Big Man while I am driving. Lately, I have been feeling a little disconnected, though. My spiritual cup is not overflowing at the moment, and honestly, I haven't been doing a whole lot about it. I have been comfortably numb. Not feeling fulfilled, but not feeling desperate. I have been praying for God to speak to me...REALLY speak to me, loud and clear. Last night during the study, our group leader touched on how, if you POUR yourself into His word, your life will never be the same. What a novel (and obvious) idea. I have done many studies. We go to church just about every Sunday. But, I have a confession to make: I don't pick up my Bible very often at home. Unless I have homework to do for my Bible study, it sits and collects dust. The devil has had me convinced that it's "too big" for puny lil' me; that I won't "get" what's in there. I have felt led to volunteer to lead studies, only to talk myself out of it because I am not familiar enough with my Bible. But do I pick it up and dust it off and familiarize myself? Nope. Shame on me. There's no excuse. And tonight, as I was sitting here, playing around on Facebook, God spoke to me LOUD AND CLEAR: I spend waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more time on Facebook than I do with Him. Ouch. It hurts to write that. But it's true. Sickening, but true. What if, for every minute I spent on Facebook per day, I took that time and spent it in His word? Well, after praying and praying to hear God speak to me, and then hearing Him tonight, I have decided that this time I am not going to question my conviction, even though I felt kinda silly having God speak to me about, of all things, Facebook. I always do that; I pray to hear God and then when I do, I question "Was that really God?" and then I let Satan convince me it wasn't so, that that wasn't God. Not this time. Yea, it sounds silly...that God even knows about Facebook. Ha. But, I have erased the Facebook app from my phone. I am not deleting my Facebook account entirely, because I don't think Facebooking in itself is a sin. But, I am going to go on a little FB vacation. Pop in from time to time. Say hello and catch up briefly. Post new blog posts. But it will NOT be my usual multiple-times-a-day check ins (or even every day, for that matter!). I am going to take the time I usually spend on Facebook, and spend it in my Bible. I am a little sad. That's weird! But I am. I am sad that I won't be up to date on all of the going ons and happenings in my friends' lives, via cyberspace. (What did we ever do BEFORE Facebook?! Oh yea, that's right- we wrote letters, met up, or talked on the phone...LOL) But I am also excited to see what happens who I pour myself into the truth, love, and word of the Creator of Heaven and Earth. "My bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standing here, outside your door..." But this time, I am opening that door. I am not letting Satan dupe me this time! So, adios Facebook. It's been a fun ride, and we can still be friends and meet up here and there, but it's time that I fall in love...and I mean REALLY fall in love with my God. Peace out.

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